Just the three of us
We can make it if we try.
I read a criticism of mommy blogging a while back that said something about how a segment of our culture was creating a fake or untrue veneer. In other words, mommy bloggers are only writing about the good and beautiful stuff, depicting an 'unreal' or 'unattainable' world. There's some truth to that.
I'm writing about this today because I'm presently getting my ass handed to me. Mothering two children under the age of 3 is more demanding and consuming than anything I've ever experienced. ANYTHING. EVER. SERIOUSLY, EVER. I can understand why our blogs are somewhat skewed in the copacetic direction simply because it's a coping tool. We're surviving. If we didn't focus ourselves on the many lovely, warm, and worthy moments of this job we would crumble beneath the weight of it all.
I'm tired, really tired. This afternoon while Miles was content, I tried to read my book and found that I couldn't get past the first page. I read and reread the same paragraph 4 times and eventually started to get dizzy. No kidding. The sleep deprivation is making me dizzy. Well, the sleep deprivation and my returning ear infections. There's no doubt in my mind that the job of mothering and the subsequent ass kicking is wearing me down to the point of my body taking a hit. It's just too tired to heal itself.
But we can't end the story there, right? I don't want to end the story with, "Life sucks, I don't sleep, and you'd be wise to hope you never see me driving in your neighborhood." Because that's not the whole truth either. There are beautiful times, sweet times like when we're all up in Miles' room when the late afternoon light drafts in through the two huge windows. I often nurse Miles in my comfy chair while Eva builds a rocket ship out of baby blankets. Yesterday, after four or five successful blast offs Eva grabbed my camera and snapped this shot of Miles and me. It's true that I can't put two sentences together without making my brain hurt, but this photograph is also telling the truth.
4 comments:
amen.
i also wholeheartedly believe that if we only wrote about the crappy that we'd only experience the crappy. if we stop long enough to examine and record the lovely, i believe we find ourselves experiencing more lovely.
having said that, however, i also believe it's okay (and important) to write about the crap in order to feel supported and validated.
hang on girl. and take those wonderful moments when you get them.
xo
a born photographer she is.
hang in there, get your ears checked and remember you're beyond amazing.
love from the Wasatch,
that IS the truth.
it's hard and crappy and so incredibly beautiful, and even on the worst days we wouldn't really trade it in... though a break wouldn't be bad sometimes...
I loved reading this because I was just sitting down to write some not-so-warm-and-fussy stuff. Thanks! I know I'm not the only one who has long, tired days. Your body will catch up :)
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